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Escaping a Truly Toxic Relationship

If you've had enough of loving a narcissist and/or living with one it's time to move on.

Escaping a toxic relationship is never easy though, especially if the relationship lasts over many years. The feeling of love can rarely be switched off; even the most vile emotional abuse may not stop a partner from loving the narcissist. Love is complicated.

The following list contains 7 tips for hurt partners who want to get out of a narcissistic and toxic relationship:

1. Cut all ties - This step is the most difficult one and probably comes last in this progress. It's the most important one as well, that's why it's listed in position one.

2. Move out (or away) - The bond of a toxic relationship should be broken as quickly as possible. Physical distance is a good start, especially if you're living together or close to one another.

3. Interrupt all contact - Remove phone numbers, change your passwords, change your lock at home, do all the stuff you'd do if you were being stalked. Stalking is of course something entirely different but many narcissistic traits lead a true narcissist to do things he "normally" wouldn't do. Security reasons aside, this is just general good advice after every intimate relationship that doesn't end well.

4. Seek professional help - A toxic relationship leaves deep wounds and sometimes you're not able to overcome your bad feelings on your own. Talking to a professional is always an option and there is no shame in seeking help.

5. Reconnect with friends - A narcissist can be very demanding and escaping a toxic relationship is very hard without friends and family. Unfortunately many partners neglect their friends and family in favor of their narcissistic partner. It's time to reconnect!

6. Learn from your mistakes - You have to look for the part in you that allows you to enter a toxic relationship in the first place. This can be either through some form of therapy of through self-inspection. We all make mistakes but we can learn from them and not make them in the future. The future is more important than the past.

7. Express your feelings - Write a letter to your (ex-)partner, describing in detail why you left the toxic relationship and why you're moving on. Write a song about it. Sing about it. Paint it. Feel it. Let it go.

If you have any other tips on overcoming a toxic relationship, please leave a comment.
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